Calories and Dealing with Stress by Changing Your Diet!
It seems to me that one of our major problems today is that we take ourselves too seriously. Particularly when it comes to calories and the counting thereof …
As women who will never see 55 again, we’re more than aware that we have to be careful about what we say and do for fear of giving offence. To somebody. Somewhere. Which appears to have led to a loss of humour in everyday life.
We all know that sexism, racism and ageism are rife and yet all 3 are practised by the Woke Brigade and the PC Acute with no apology!
Have we uncovered yet another double standard?
This article is a lighthearted look at stress and your diet. You may or may not have heard it all before … but it’s all worth repeating!
12 Ways to Lose Calories
- If you eat something and no one sees you, it has no calories
- If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled by the diet soda.
- When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you do not eat more than they do.
- Foods used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Cheesecake.
- If you fatten up everyone around you, then you look thinner.
- Movie-related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel. Examples: Buttered Popcorn (or not buttered), Peanut cups, Ice cream (especially chocolate) & Tootsie Rolls.
- Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
- Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something.
- Foods that have the same colour have the same number of calories. Examples are: Spinach & Pistachio Ice Cream, Mushrooms & Mashed Potatoes.
- Chocolate is a universal colour and may be substituted for any other food colour.
- Anything consumed while standing has no calories. This is due to gravity and the density of the calorific mass.
- Anything consumed from someone else’s plate has no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to his/her plate. (We all know how calories like to cling!)
We love to receive your comments and questions about you and your calories.
Q: Do you have an adequate diet? A: Define adequate and is it related to calories …
Q: Can you tell when you are eating the foods that are not helping you?! A: Yes. They’re usually delicious and heart-warming
Q: Which of the stress diet options makes you laugh the most? They all make me laugh but I think the first is the funniest If you eat something and no one sees you, it has no calories followed by Anything consumed while standing has no calories.
No additional calories for movie-related foods …
they’re part of the entertainment
White mushrooms have the same calories as mashed potatoes.
They’re the same colour …
Mashed potatoes with lots of butter … calorie free.
