If you’re experiencing low self-esteem issues, which affect women of all ages, you may be challenged in your ability to receive; gratefully and graciously. Gracious. Such an old-fashioned word for an old-fashioned virtue that seems to have disappeared at Christmas and every other time of year. Or am I being non-PC for saying that?!
As children we all know how to receive; witness the sticky lips and squeals of delight on Christmas morning. Children never have a problem receiving, which is as it should be; they also can be taught, quite young, the joy of giving, and that gifts are not a form of ransom. Parents, grandparents, friends and relations, give presents from love … not because they’re looking for something!
But Christmas can be a really distressing time of year for some. In the armed forces, homeless, suffering bereavement; and on it goes. You can brighten your own Christmas and raise your self-esteem by giving back … perhaps invite people in to celebrate who you know have nobody …
Low self-esteem & re-learning to receive
Women, particularly when we are over 30 and certainly when we are over 50 or 60 or 70, often have to re-learn how to receive; that’s the way it is for many women who are still locked into give, give, give at Christmas and any other time. We all know, and if we don’t know we must learn, that giving and receiving are a two-way street; emotionally, physically and mentally.
Why don’t women know how to receive? Self-esteem! You knew I was going to say that didn’t you?!
We are usually the last to know just how low our self-esteem has plummeted until we start listening to our language: “Oh no, I couldn’t accept such a lovely gift”; “You’re too kind to me”; “I’m not worth someone spending so much money on me”. At Christmas, for some reason, such protestations of unworthiness seem churlish … after all, Christmas is supposed to be the season of kindness and good will to all, which includes you.
Speaking for myself, and I’d like to know how many of you feel the same, this type of humility seriously gets up my nose! Get a grip people! Yes, you can accept anything that’s offered because you’re more than worth it …
I know I keep harping on about self-esteem, but unfortunately you see women with low self-esteem every day, somewhere near you. It may even be you! The woman with low self-esteem. If it is you then you will know you’re worse at Christmas.
Working to raise your self-esteem is not something that is especially easy and there is never a simple solution. I’ve probably said that before, but there are a few things you can do to start and although they may sound simplistic, they do work. If you do them!
Keep a Journal/Gratitude Book
Always top of the list you’re probably tired of hearing this. It doesn’t matter what you write or when; just write. You can add 5 things for which you are grateful every day, or simply add To-Do-Lists if that really is the best you can do. Making a habit of adding something every day will change what you write.
As it’s Christmas, why not go mad and buy yourself something special for writing …
Start looking at things differently. When better than at Christmas
For example:-
□ Thank the birds for waking you up; you’re still alive and they sound better than a lawnmower
□ Make the most of your breakfast cereal; porridge can be boring so add some blueberries!
□ Enjoy the brightness of the sunlight coming in through the windows and if it’s raining, enjoy the coolness of the overcast sky; every day is beautiful if you choose.
□ Be grateful the car starts or the bus arrives on time or you have a car!
Smile!
Nothing looks more generous and open than a smile … it adds to the positive energy in the world as well as boosting your energy and other peoples … Everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile especially at Christmas. ’tis the season of good will to all.
Laugh!
Often. Laughter really is the best medicine and will do wonders to boost your self-esteem and help you to find a happy place at Christmas.
Why not take a look at The Laughter Yoga Book
Dream … again.
Remember the dreams you had as a child and if you want, choose to live them … there’s no Use by date on your dreams … you’re not a bottle of milk …
Give to yourself constantly and you can give to others endlessly.
Truer than true! When people give you gifts or do something for you which you had not expected, a simple heartfelt Thank you is the only response needed. If you haven’t heard it before, imagine yourself as an overflowing glass of water. Not half full and not half empty. Full to overflowing!
Whatever it is, you deserve it!
At Christmas or at any other time of year, if somebody, anybody, decides to present you with something you don’t feel you deserve, remember to turn that nasty little worm around and boot it out of your brain. You deserve everything you’re given; now and at any other time of the year. Christmas is about giving and I know you will be giving plenty to others, so why not give yourself the gift of taking … with the joy and love it was given!
Remember, you can put your skills, you personality, you general gorgeousness to work in helping others who may feel even more unsure than you do. If you’re feeling you don’t know how to do that, read this article; it may provide some help.
This is an excellent read. Try it; Open Your Mind to Receive
