If we’re being kind to ourselves, and why wouldn’t we? we should, in truth, run a stocktake at the end of every week. One of the keys to doing that is to have a system that requires no thinking but plenty of feeling.
We’re all guilty of over-thinking ourselves and almost everything else in our lives, including the cat’s behaviour (why does she keep throwing up? Vet says there’s nothing wrong with her!). Which is why we so often find ourselves stuck. In our lives and in our business; if you have one. Letting Go , written a short time ago, expands on the idea.
It’s always good to acknowledge what we have achieved, throughout our lives or even just this morning. Getting out of bed may have been a real challenge. We must congratulate ourselves and celebrate! This is not something most of us are prone to do … in fact, we often reach 50 (or even way beyond), never having admitted to our own brilliance!
How to begin your stocktake:
Keep a journal
Include only the things that happen during the week that are meaningful to just you …nobody else. There are probably few people who need to know your newly developed passion for Baked Beans on toast.
Keep a Gratitude Journal
Perfect in an imperfect world. … it will help you to reverse your thought patterns by becoming intent on what you have … not what you want!
Start a list
If you’re like me and have a touch of OCD when it comes to making lists, this is the best! A stocktake is basically a list of all the achievements and successes in your life in the past … 10, 20, 30, 40 or even 50 years. Be honest … and ignore your brain chatter.
Don’t let any negativity creep in … it’s a stocktake and deserves only the best!
You know what I mean. It’s the constant self-talk … “You’ve done nothing”, “you haven’t achieved anything”, “you haven’t accomplished what your best friend (sister, mother, classmates, friends, cat) have accomplished.”
Let’s not forget “You’re a waste of space.” “I’m dumb”, “I’m fat”, “I’m ugly”, and this really is why a stocktake is so difficult for many of us …
Tap into your common sense
“How can I possibly have lived this long and done nothing”? You ask. The answer is simple … you can’t! So please, get a grip …
Write, talk, whatever it takes
Walking is always a good way to start the process … your mind feels free to wander, and you can go with it … mental freedom is a key stocktake ingredient.
Write anything; a letter, an article, a book
Talk to yourself … my personal favourite … it’s surprising what you learn when you’re not hemmed in by the words of others!
Creating your first stocktake list is not an overnight task … how many years do you have to catch up on?!
Analyse who and what you are
Low self-esteem keeps us toeing the line and living for everybody else. An honest, realistic stocktake will help you take the time to realise how much more you are than you think.
It’s odd that we have to reach a certain age before we can start building the bridge that will finally stop our poor self-esteem controlling our lives.
Your greatest relationship ever, is the one you have with yourself … unfortunately we don’t seem to understand this until reaching a certain age, whatever a certain age may be to you.
We are our own greatest friend and greatest enemy.
Great blog Penelope…..all the above is super useful, thought provoking and action provoking.
Taking stock of our shadow is very timeworthy, and may take quite some time….
Re baked beans – I sometimes grind org. black pepper into, or a chile type sauce – certainly lifts the taste.
I always talk to myself, and sometimes get some great replies! I was talking to myself in supermarket one day, and a lady looked at me, so I said, ‘oh, I’m just talking to myself’. She said, ‘do you do that often?’ “Oh yes’ I replied. She then asked, “do you answer as well?” ‘yes, I usually get excellent answers’. She said, ‘ you’re mad”. I thought to myself……at least I know the answers and insights are honest. I just laughed and kept walking (and talking if the need struck)
Before Christmas, I washed my brushes, put them in the sun to dry, sharpened my liner pencils, put my stuff into clean containers, zip lock bags, etc, threw out stuff I didn’t use/want…..i.e. stocktake.
Doesn’t ‘common sense’ mean ‘caring? Caring for self, others, and the planet. Question – what behaviour do I ‘do that is not under the umbrella of caring? Stuart Wilde wrote a list of shadow traits in one of is books – I think ‘The Sixth Sense’…..do I do this, do I do it sometimes, did I used to do this – questions I asked myself as I went through the list. It’s an ongoing list requiring an astute awareness of our daily thoughts, behaviours, responses, and emotional responses to people and situations. It may take months, or more to shine light on that trait, recognize it , and be awake if it looks like showing itself again, recognizing , and not judging (i.e. oh I’m a terrible person, I shouldn’t do that, that’s bad etc – so, no judgement) and deciding that that behaviour does not serve us and either drop it or change it.
Gotta love Stui!!
Years ago I found a ‘to live for’ drink called Norfolk Punch, made on the recipe found in a tiny bricked-in hole in an old abbey in UK made by the monks, using spices and herbs, and made it in a township called Kendall in NSW who had familial connection to the abbey. They also used to make the BEST Christmas cake, honey, biscuits, etc, using the recipe. It’s a bit like mulled wine, without the booz – can have chilled or gently warmed on stove top – a sherry glass full, and slowly breathe in the fragrance and sip. Heaven! and any feeling of wanting a drink of wine and low feelings, just waft away. I am sure you will be able to find something similar.
We will need to draw on our ability/capacity to flex, think differently, Be different, from now on to be able to maintain love, peace and joy and balance. And it will be a conscious effort……. Huge best wishes…
Rosalie, I found this just now! Great reply to my blog and I’m so glad you liked it … It isn’t until you start looking that you realise how many amazing women there are who are over 70 and really moving and shaking. And no, I’m not talking about celebrities or movie stars! They really need to be encouraged. In fact, we all need to be encouraged …